Saturday, December 13, 2008

How to Change and Convert Your Friends and Family pt. 2

Part 2

You must be attractive

In part 1 of this article I discussed how being the change you wish to see and walking your talk is the only way that people will listen to what you have to say. We also looked at how people will be attracted to you by doing these things, and thus be interested in what you are doing.

This is the only way the process will work, since people do not want to be preached to or converted. People generally fear and resist change, so if you are trying to change them, they will fear and resist you.

The question is now how to be an attractive person?

In order for people to be attracted to you and care about what you are doing, you must be an attractive person.

The way to become an attractive person is to sit down and think about what people are attracted to.

Generally people are attracted to others who make them feel good about themselves. People are attracted to positive, happy, and cheerful people. Those who inspire, add value to the lives of others, and those who help others are also attractive.

Another way to determine what is attractive is to look at the top people in your chosen field and study what they are doing. They are obviously displaying attractive characteristics. Figure out what attracts you to the top people in your field. One you have figured this out, begin to mirror these traits and make them part of your personality.

Obviously, you do not want to become a parrot. You do, however, want to take in the attractive aspects, digest them, and then create your own version of it.
Right now and from this day forward, begin look at people you find attractive and figure out why this is so. Determine which characteristics you really enjoy about each person.

Figuring this out is important because we are usually attracted to those who remind us of ourselves. We are also attracted to those who embody things that we desire to be. This is partially why people are attracted to the rich and famous as most people have a desire to be rich and famous.

By figuring out what things you find attractive in this other person, you come closer to discovering the areas within yourself that you need to focus your energy on. You are finding the areas in which you need to grow. You are, in a sense, finding your own path to the treasures that you desire.

In closing

In these articles, we have seen that people do not want to be changed or converted. We have also seen that any effort to do this will be resisted and generally met with negativity. Thus, the only way to really influence others and to get their attention is by being the example and being the change we wish to see.

We must focus our energies on this side of the equation and the rest will take care of itself. This will happen because by becoming intently focused on what we are being, we will no longer have the ability to focus on what others are doing.
If you are still hoping to change or convert people, please give that up.

Instead, focus your efforts on yourself and what you can do to further embody whatever it is you are striving for.

The only person you can change and the only person you need to change is your own self.

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