Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Dalai Lama says Sex invariably spells trouble

On November 28th, the Dalai Lama made news by saying celibacy is good.

What he actually said -- in English without a translator was, "Sexual pleasure, sexual desire, actually I think is short period satisfaction and often, that leads to more complication. Naturally as a human being ... some kind of desire for sex comes, but then you use human intelligence to make comprehension that those couples always full of trouble. And in some cases there is suicide, murder cases."

As for celibacy he said, "we miss something, but at the same time, compare whole life, it's better, more independence, more freedom. Too much attachment towards your children, towards your partner (is) one of the obstacle or hindrance of peace of mind."

My thoughts on the matter

I would equate sex to something like driving a car or electricity; when used properly, safely, and responsible, these are very useful and enjoyable things.

A car can be a very helpful thing to have, but if you put the wrong person behind the wheel it can become a weapon of mass destruction. Sex is no different from this.

The energy driving sex is very powerful. The power of electricity is equally as powerful. If either of these things are not grounded and wired properly then someone is going to get hurt.

The moral of the story here is that many things in life that we believe to be useful and pleasurable have the inherent potential for destruction. This is just something that we have to accept.

With power comes responsibility, so rather than completely abandoning something because it has the potential to be misused, we should instead take responsibility and learn how to use it properly.

My thoughts continued

There is truth to what the Dalai Lama has said. Sexual pleasure is very transient, in that the appetite is never satisfied for long. We spend a great deal of time and energy just to satisfy this appetite when we could be doing other things. This can be a very frustrating and consuming process.

It really comes down to a matter of prioritization and choice. We must choose which things we view as a priority in our lives. In this context the Dalia Lama is saying that it is either sexual pleasure or peace of mind.

I’m not sure exactly how I feel about this matter yet. I often go back in forth between both sides of this coin.

Sometimes I think that sexual matters are distracting and hindering to the progression towards peace of mind. Yet nothing disturbs your mind more than trying to make yourself forget about sex.

The reality of the matter is that either way we are stuck.

If we indulge too heavily in sex and become consumed by it, then our mind will be disturbed and we will become depleted. Yet if we do not satisfy our sexual desires then we will be consumed with the desire and hunger for sex, and thus spend our time and energy telling ourselves to not think about it.

If you are thinking about not thinking about something, then you are still thinking about it. Either way you are stuck with it.

In conclusion

My suggestion is to explore the varying ideas and possibilities on this subject and find which one works the best for you.

I don’t think complete celibacy is the answer.

I don’t think complete sexual indulgence is the answer either. I am still figuring this out for myself.

Each person must decide for themselves what they value and how they want to spend their time and energy.

Each person must find their own balance.

So right now, what are your thoughts and experiences on this subject?



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