Friday, December 12, 2008

How to Change and Convert Your Friends and Family

There really is no way to convert or change anyone. Perhaps you could superficially influence another person to act in a different way temporarily, but the choice to create deep and lasting change can only be made by the individual.

The question that should be raised here is, “why in the first place would you want to change or convert anyone?”

I think that desires like this come from a place of personal insecurity. If one is completely confident and secure with in themselves, then they would have no need or desire to convert anyone.

If you are confident and sure of yourself then you have no need to convince anyone of anything because you already know. This deep inner sense of knowing is something that speaks louder than any words. This knowing communicates on a subtle and completely non-verbal level.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying.”

This quote basically sums up what I am referring to here. Who you are speaks louder than anything you could ever say.

So then what is the point of all of this? The point is looking at who YOU are and what YOU are being.

How do we really change and convert others?

The only way that this would be possible, if at all, is to be the example of whatever it is you have in mind.

Gandhi said “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

This is true because the only way for you to demonstrate that you actually know what you are talking about is to be it.

It is usually pretty easy to talk about something, but it is generally much more difficult to actually do it.

You must walk your talk.

This is the only thing that people will notice. This is the only way that people will really listen to what you have to say.

Actually, a funny thing happens when you begin “being the change” and “walking your talk.” You completely forget about trying to change other people. Instead, you are too busy being focused on what you are being and doing.

As a side effect, people usually begin asking YOU want YOU are up to. They begin to become attracted to you and wonder what you are about.

Rather than you harassing them and trying to change them, they are coming to you with interest and attention.

That being said, this will not be the case all of the time. People decide for themselves what they want and what they will do. This is just something that we have to accept. Not everyone wants to change; some people are completely happy the way that they are. This is completely perfect and okay.

But those who want what you have will surely be attracted to you. The process basically takes care of itself. All that you have to focus on is what you are being and what you are doing.

This speaks much louder than anything you could ever say.

In part 2 of this article I will go into greater detail on how to be an attractive, influential person.


heyward said...

Jesus, you could have just said "Heyward, I don't want to do it."

Brandon Gilbert said...

good one.